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If you are going to mix up some drinks, you might as well enjoy them yourself while impressing your female guest. The White Russian satisfies many requirements: You will get a watered down waste of money and time that was most likely mixed in a huge container earlier in the day.

The key to a good white Russian is proportion: Add a splash of coke to make it even better. Put vodka in anything and it is good.

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My girl especially likes vodka and sprite. Vodka and cranberry juice is great, but to make it even more female-friendly top drinj off with some white grapefruit juice. Then you have a Seabreeze.

Wxnt or with a water back—but like real Scotch whisky, not a blend. Nothing is more elegantly rugged and sexy than a woman whose go-to call is a hefty pour of something like a Lagavulin, a Speyside or obscure single malt.

Anything straight is badass. I like to go back and forth buying drinks, and it makes me feel more confident when I'm not counting quarters to get a girl a crazy cocktail or some kind of high-end liquor.

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But you can't sexy ethio off the pickup entirely. You'll be bopping along, happy with the couch you just bought, liking your job, going to the gym, maybe even taking multivitamins, and then—boom—you'll see a girl, reading that book, with her hair, and those shoes, and she'll laugh and you'll feel joy and it's awesome and you'll want it.

What are you going to do? Talk to her or never see her again? You should talk to.

Chris Rock is right: Glance at her face, her torso region, her shoes, and then back at her face while smiling a medium-size smile. Keep it natural.

Looking a girl up and down should take no longer than counting to. Don't eye-roger the crap out of her and then lick your lips like a zoot-suit-wearing-wolf cartoon. Let's say the lovely girl is at a bar and half-turned toward you—and she stays that way.

Reassure her by looking a little sheepish when you're in her nave line. Your countenance should be all "I know, right? What even is this? Even if she is wearing an abbreviated dress and enthusiastic underwear.

From there, say hi. Just like that: Depending on how convincingly you imply that you're baffled by happenstance because neither of you does this, ever —and contingent upon just how enthusiastic her qith is—close.